Then the little girl asked while looking perplexed, “If you know a hungry homeless man is at the grocery store, why haven’t you seen if there is a need in his life that you can assist with? Why haven’t you sincerely offered him the job and pay him a fair wage for mowing your lawn, pulling your weeds, and sweeping your driveway if you need the service anyway?”

I told her “because Tea Party folks enjoy making up cynical little stories that leave out substantial facts and evidence that does not support reality or benefit our silly political positions. And besides, we have no real interest or intent in assisting the unemployed or working poor and we sure the hell are not going to actually assist homeless people” while angrily leaning my 240 pound frame into her personal space and menacingly jabbing my finger.

While looking increasingly confused the little girl then said “So you are quite happy to exploit the plight of the homeless in your little anecdotal stories in an attempt at confusing weak minded people?”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed, “You never will hear much in the way of policy specifics from us teabaggers, just half-truths, generalities and ridiculous anecdotes like this one!” while opening my arms in a welcoming manner.

The little girl no longer looking perplexed then says “No thanks, I would much rather be a Liberal than be part of a disingenuous group like the Tea Party. And besides” she says with a great big grin and slap to her knee, “are you aware that teabagger is a double entendre? I would never associate myself with that!” while laughing hysterically and playfully covering her mouth.

“Are you sure little girl?” I say. “We are trying to role back the role of the federal government to 1776 levels, so we can again legally hire little girls and boys like you and have children again operate dangerous power tools.”

“Not interested” the little girl says while regaining her composure after laughing over the idea of Sarah Palin as the leader of the Tea Party. She then told me that “Progressives moved us past the horrors of child labor in the early 20th century due to the high number of injuries and deaths associated with children being forced to operate dangerous equipment.” Just as I was remembering that I offered my friend’s little girl $50 to operate my power mower. “I am going to go travel on the public roads and go to publicly funded school and get my government funded vaccinations so I can grow up big, healthy and smart! I will then contribute to the infrastructure of the United States in the form of taxes so the children that come after me will have the same opportunities I had. I probably won’t even complain too much over tax rates” she goes on to say “Then I am going to be President of the Unites States!” The little girl’s parents still beaming with pride. Now they don’t talk to me because I tried to get their cute little daughter to come to my house and operate my power mower.

Sent from my iPad 4G

I’m gonna give you $50 just to keep coming up with ideas like this.