To Facebook or not to Facebook

My wife has a Facebook page. Her 60 something, mostly girl, friends have a Facebook. Kids at church have a Facebook page. And now, inexplicably, two of my (guy) friends who are both in their 40’s (they will remain nameless) have Facebook pages. Gene and Gerald (couldn’t help it), one single and one with 3 kids (2 teens), have now become Facebook friends with my wife and others.

That led to an email from my wife yesterday encouraging me to sign up for Facebook because Gene and Gerald have signed up. At that point I called Gerald and asked him how he could go against the “man-code”, be seduced by the darkside, whatever you want to call it. He, and I paraphrase, told me to let it go and just deal with the fact that I need one.

So, this is why I am posting. I don’t feel like I should have a Facebook page. I am 35, married with 2 kids: one is 4 and the other 2. I understand joining if you want to keep up with the trends of your teenagers or something in that range, but I am not there. Why should I, or any guy in my position, have a Facebook page?

What can possibly be earned, other than a few brownie points, for being able to get “married on Facebook”? And, as an aside, my wife wants us to get married on Facebook. I don’t think so. The look in her eyes that she’ll get when I do it will be long gone and I’ll be stuck with talking to 50 people I haven’t seen in 20 years about stuff no normal human being would ever care about, except for the fact that you have to talk about something because you are Facebook friends.

So far I have resisted. I will not give in. I refuse to let “The Man” bring me down. I will fight on behalf of the oppressed. Yeah though I walk through the valley of Facebook, I will fear no evil.

Brothers, hear my cry. Don’t give in. Never give in. We must stand together, united. Except of course for Gene and Gerald.

Thanks guys.

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6 Responses to To Facebook or not to Facebook

  1. The Wife says:

    Well it looks like you lost another one to Facebook…Andrew joined the dark side. 4 and counting….

  2. Gerald McDaniel says:


    Aren’t you the guy who wears “stretchy pants” or in layman terms Spandex/lycra pants while bicycling? Do you think that is a “manly” fashion? The fashion craze of wearing spandex went out nearly 20 yearly ago. So many who can remember such unflattering sites would probably still have that same opinion. It is not flattering. Yet you wear them. Why do you wear the pants? Is it for the reason of being comfortable or joining the crowd? For whatever reason, you made the decision to wear them despite what others may think.

    Oh yeah, women wear those pants also.

    Now to your subject, to facebook or not to facebook.

    As communication technology evolves, so does our options. There are many methods one can use for communication. There is the home phone, the answering machine, the cell phone, the voice mail system, the internet, the chat room, the my-space, the you tube, and now the facebook. Thanks to modern technology for it has afforded us the opportunity to engage in communication in real time, globally. It is only by choice to send a letter through the postal service. Now many choose to send an email. I think it is more about convenience than it is appearance.

    Yes, all of these methods of communication are great. A question one would have to ask is what is the individual’s intention when using such tools. Is the intention of a sincere nature or is it of a vicious nature. That is what one has to question.

    You alluded to the notion that facebook is mainly comprised of female users. That may be so, but there are several guys who use the tool as well. You seem to be under the impression that the tool is used as a mean to “hook up” or to find the “right” one. Once again it goes back to the individual’s intent. Some may have that intent to solicit, while others use it solely as a friendly tool to keep in touch with others. I would be of the ones who use the tool solely for the sake of sending out a “hello” to mass of friends.

    So I guess you need to ask yourself what would your intent be for using “facebook.” You very well might not have a need for such a tool. If that is the case, then that is fine. However, due to your lofty ideas, I find that hard to believe.

    You seem to have migrated to the genre of blogging.

    As these recent methods of communication are rather new to me, who is your intended audience for your blogs? Do men read blogs often? Do they respond frequently? Unless things have changed, men really don’t like writing or typing as in this case. So what is your intention for engaging in communication through blogging? Is it to insight or to incite? There is a big difference between the two actions.

    So is it really worth you trying to wage a stance against men using one specific method of communication, in this case, Facebook, as opposed to some other method? What is there for you to gain?

    Besides, who gave you that right to determine what is appropriate or not? Are you the judge?

    Before I go…how can one decision be right and the other one wrong? Are you willing to stop wearing those “stretchy” pants? That is, for the sake of manhood…

    Oh well, it is time to go watch the olympics. Go USA!!!

    Don’t be late for our 9:40pm movie.

  3. Roy Bauer says:


    Touche on the cycling pants, but there aren’t a lot of comfortable choices when it comes to sitting on a bicycle seat for 3+ hours. Try it. As a guy, you’ll thank me. However, I will say that seeing me in tight pants is probably a little unsettling.

    Now back to Facebook. My wife commented that another guy I respect, an army guy no less, has joined Facebook. He is in his mid-twenties so I think there is something inherently ok with that. My problem seems to be with those of us in our mid 30’s and up.

    I could be off the mark. Maybe I’m missing a key element. There is just something that doesn’t seem kosher about guys joining a social network where people send each other bumper stickers and flowers.

    Please, all of you guys or girls out there, correct me if I’m wrong and back me up if I”m right.

    I’m being pressured but so far I’m staying strong and not wavering.

  4. The Wife says:

    Wow Gerald really layed it on! You go Gerald! It’s about time someone put Roy in his place concerning this facebook thing.

  5. Roy Bauer says:

    Gerald, Please see below information on Facebook for clarification.
    Here is a link to a Facebook Demographic Page for an advertising agency. They do research so they can market to the target audience. They found that 84% of the Facebook users are between 14 and 26 years of age and 55% are female.

    So, Gerald, it looks you were right, you do fit right in.

    I’ll get Heidi to send you some bumper stickers.


    “…84% of members are between the ages of 14 and 26…”

  6. Roy Bauer says:

    Alright Gerald, let’s call a truce. You know I’m your friend.
    But, I can’t get a Facebook page right now.

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